


Let's Do Something Crazy

by Stardind



Series: Crazy [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, M/M, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 07:06:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4512513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardind/pseuds/Stardind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashila Adaar was just trying to get drunk and forget her woes when her favorite dwarf joins her, trying to forget his own woes. She brings up a game her merc commander used to play when the group had low moral: let's do something crazy.<br/>The name of the game? Think of the craziest thing the group could do and do it.</p><p>"Let's do something crazy... lets get married."<br/>"I've made worse decisions in my life."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Do Something Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first work on this site! I own nothing and I make no money from this. Please enjoy! There is bad language so you are warned!

I OWN NOTHING AND I MAKE NO MONEY FROM THIS. THIS IS FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. SO ENJOY!

Let’s Do Something Crazy

Ashila Adaar was sitting on the high ramparts, looking out a crumbly wall that had yet to be fixed. The broken piece of wall gave her a beautiful view of the snowy mountains around Skyhold while also giving her something to lean against. Hot angry tears flowed down her cheeks, turning silver from the bright full moon. 

She lifted the heavy whiskey skin given to her by Cabot before she had stormed out of the tavern and took a heavy gulp. Her head was starting to swim and her limbs had gone heavy four gulps ago. Adaar turned her head slowly when she heard footsteps and let her hope for just a second it was the one who had hurt her coming to apologize.  
Adaar was both saddened and grateful that it was Varric who walked up the stairs to her little hiding spot.

“For being a 7 foot tall grey woman with horns you are a hard person to find when you don’t want to be found.” Varric said with a forced smile. Adaar patted the ground next to her.

“So how did you find me then?”

“Your horns are poking out over the wall.” Varric plopped next to her and took the whiskey skin from her and taking a swig. Adaar just smiled softly and reached up to let her pure white hair out of her tight bun.

“What Cullen did back there was an asshole move. I hope you know half of the inquisition is mad at his sorry ass.”

“And the other half?” Adaar said taking the whiskey skin back and scowling when she noticed it was empty.

“Work under him” 

Adaar burped and leaned back, staring up at the moon.

“So what news did you get? You’ve been upset all day… and lost a round of wicked grace to Sera of all people.” 

Varric leaned back with her, feeling small and stupid all of the sudden when her golden eyes fell to look at him.

“Bianca… Bianca is pregnant and retiring from the merchants’ guild…” Varric felt a heavy arm go around his shoulders and pull him to a warm side.

“I’m sorry Varric. I know how much you loved her.”

“I was a fool. She is married, has always been married… and I realize now how much I let her use me.” Silence fell over them.

“Varric lets play a game.” Adaar said suddenly making Varric jerk out of his dose.

“A game? Inquisitor I didn’t bring my cards with me for once.”

“No no, when I was still with the merc company my commander came up with this game called ‘let’s do something crazy’ when jobs were few or moral was low. He would get us all in a circle and the group would come up with the craziest wildest things they could think of. When everyone had agreed on the something crazy we would all do it.”

“I can’t imagine that went well all the time.” Varric laughed.

“No but it was fun… And for just a little while we all forgot our problems, had a few laughs, and just let lose.”

“That sounds amazing, but I really don’t want to do anything here where Leliana or Josephine will string us up for embarrassing the Inquisition.”

“That’s a good point…” Adaar said putting her finger to her mouth to nibble on it, deep in thought. Finally her face became soft and she gave him a tiny smile. 

“Varric”

“Yes Inquisitor?”

“Let’s do something crazy… let’s get married”

“I have made worse decisions in my life… alright Adaar lets go get married.” Varric took her larger hand in his. 

They made it down the stairs and saddled up Adaar’s dearest white war nug Kirara (Kee-Ra-Ra) in record time. Adaar half tossed Varric onto the sleepy animal’s backside and climbed on in her difficult drunk state. The guards at the gate barely moved out of the charging animal’s way as it ran across the court yard.

“Tell everyone I’ll be back later!” Adaar half called behind her as they barreled across the bridge and out into the wilderness. The guards just looked at each other in confusion.

SOME WHERE OFF THE EDGE OF THE HINTERLANDS

Chantry Mother Eliana was an old kind woman who ran a remote chantry that was well known for helping lost or tired travelers of any race or religion. A single Templar had stayed to help her run the place. The young man named Ryan who had only been with the Templars a single day when the conclave explosion happened and the rest of the Templars took off to go fight mages. He had refused to leave the elderly Eliana alone even if she had massive muscle in the form of an escaped Saarebas that Eliana had taken in and named Klain. He never spoke and his face never changed but Eliana told Ryan often that Klain did in fact like him. Klain did nothing, not even eat, sleep, or go to the restroom unless Eliana told him too.

Eliana happened to be up just before dawn, praying silently in one of the pews. Klain’s massive form was sitting like a statue next to her when a loud knock echoed through the small chantry. Ryan was standing by the door in plain clothes, sweeping. He stopped to grab his sword and tie it around his waist before opening the door and greet whoever had made it all the way out to them.  
He did not expect to see a drunken Qunari and a dwarf leaning on each other to greet him. He looked behind them at the massive sleeping white battle nug and wondered if they were about to get robbed.

“You have no idea how long it took us to find this place! All the other chantries were asleep! My short best friend and I want to get married.” Adaar said happily.

“Married?” Ryan asked confused.

“Yeah! Now let us in. It’s colder than Leliana’s stare out here!” Varric said pushing his way in.

“Welcome!” Eliana said, standing up to greet the two.

“Thank you for letting us in. Varric and I have had the worst day…”

“It’s been like the worst year actually”

“Good point. We’ve had like the worst year ever so we want to get married.” Adaar finished.

“Oh I haven’t done a wedding in so long!” Eliana gushed “Do you have rings or clothing you’d like to change into?”

“We kind of only decided to do this a few hours ago.” Varric said sheepishly.

“Oh, of course… I’m sure we have a few things around here we can use. Klain measure their fingers and make simple gold rings for them please. I’ll take the lady into this room and Ryan will dress the man out here.”

“Of course ma’am” Ryan said grabbing Varric and leading him away while Eliana strong armed Adaar into another room. Klain looked both ways before going into his tiny work shop to begin his task. They didn’t have a lot of gold lying around but he would make it work.

“So how did you two fall in love dear?” Eliana asked, brushing out Adaar’s hair and deciding what she wanted to do with it.

“Well we kind of haven’t? It’s a long story.” Adaar said with a soft blush.

“I have time dear” Eliana said kindly, starting to braid her hair with red flowers.

“Well I was in love with this human man. He told me it just wasn’t the right time and to give him time. So I did. At a tavern party Varric holds he got really drunk and was mad that he kept losing at Wicked Grace. All I did was place my hand on his shoulder and told him it was alright. It’s just a game among friends… he shot up as if I had just burned him or something and shouted ‘don’t touch me you savage ox-woman!’… So I broke a chair over his fucking face and left. I tried to understand for about five seconds because he’s an ex-templar and going through lyrium withdraw but like I said… I have a high stress job and in the moment Varric and I decided to fuck it all and to get married. Varric has always treated me like… just me. The others like Cullen have treated me like I’m going to snap at any moment” Adaar sighed slumping her shoulders “I just proved him right with my reaction…”

Eliana placed her hands on Adaar’s shoulders and turned her, lifting her chin.

“Enough of that now. You are about to be married.” Eliana carefully wiped all the dirt and left over vitaar from her face.

“Now close your eyes.” Eliana said lifting a paint brush.

In the other room Ryan was giving Varric a disgusted look.

“You are wearing that?”

“You remind me of my friend Dorian. You two should totally meet.” Varric said crossing his arms. Ryan strapped the last piece of his templar armor down and walked around Varric.

“I have just the thing.” Ryan said going to his personal chest and pulling out some clothing. He forced Varric to strip and put on black leather pants and a long sleeved white shirt that was left open at the top and had gold trimmings.

“Dashing if I do say so myself! So tell me how you two fell in love.” Ryan said pulling out Varric’s ponytail and starting to brush his hair out.

“Where to start? I have been in love with this woman named Bianca since I could remember… even when she got married, even when her husband sent assassins after me, even when her letters and visits had a hidden agenda behind them where I would fix HER mess I stayed loyal to her. All of the sudden she shows up two weeks ago asking for my help and I knew I couldn’t help her without Adaar’s help. I didn’t want to ask her for anything, people are always asking Adaar for help with this or that and the other and she runs all over Thedas making sure everyone has what they need. I’ve never heard or seen her ask for anything… Bianca lied to us both and almost got us killed just so she could retire and have a family.”

“Sounds like you’ve had Adaar on your mind for a while.” Ryan said finishing with Varric’s hair, deciding to leave it down.

“She is… an amazing woman.” Varric mumbled a little embarrassed all of the sudden, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m glad you think so because you are about to marry her.” Ryan said leading Varric out into the main chapel and going to check on how Eliana was doing.

Klain showed up with both rings just as Eliana finished putting the veil over Adaar’s face.

“Klain you are a miracle worker!” Eliana gushed as she took both rings from him. They were simple like she had wanted, with tiny runes etched into the side. He nodded his head to her.

“Now Klain I’d like you to walk Adaar down the aisle to her husband like a true wedding.” Eliana said. He nodded again and offered his arm to Adaar who took it happily.

Varric almost jerked out of his skin when the door opened and Eliana came to stand next to him. He suddenly felt extremely sober and time stood still as Ashila Adaar finally came into his view. Varric had never seen her without vitaar covering almost every inch of her face and her hair in anything but a tight bun. And damn he was struck stupid by her beauty. Eliana had kept Adaar’s makeup simple, putting white paint on her eyelid and highlighting her eyes with a thin gold line around them. Her lips were red and Varric suddenly wanted to know what it was like it was to kiss them.

Varric tore his eyes from her beautiful face to her white clothing. Not having a dress that would fit her tall stature Eliana had taken a crisp white sheet and wrapped it around her many times and wrapping a golden rope around her breasts and waist to keep the whole thing up.

Adaar was also struck by how good Varric looked with his hair down and something other than his normal tan coat on. She only walked toward him when Klain tugged her arm to walk toward her best friend. She suddenly felt her heart starting to beat against her chest, attempting to get out and she realized how serious this was. She was getting married. She was getting married to her best friend and to the only man who had ever made her feel… NORMAL.

Varric was having the same panic attack. For years he only had Bianca on the brain and for years people said he’d end up with Hawke. Now he found himself wanting to only be with Adaar, his tall selfless best friend.

Klain finally handed Adaar’s hand to Varric and sat down on the pew to watch. Eliana started the sermon and Varric’s tongue felt stuffed with cotton. He wasn’t sure how he got through his vows or if Adaar got through hers but suddenly he had a golden ring on his finger and he had slipped one onto hers. He finally heard the words he had been waiting to hear.

“You may now kiss your bride.” Eliana said to Varric. Varric and Adaar met in the middle as much as they could and Varric couldn’t move the veil off Adaar’s face fast enough to put a deep and loving kiss on those red lips. Adaar’s eyes fluttered closed and in a cheesy romantic fashion the sun shined through the window just as their lips met.

Clapping made everyone in the room jump and they turned to the middle pew where Cole clapped, looking extremely happy.

“Cole! What have I told you about scaring us like that?” Varric chastised. 

“I’m so happy I didn’t miss it.” Cole simply said for himself.

“Who is that strange boy?” Eliana asked. Varric and Adaar looked at each other.

“Our son.” They said in unison.

BACK AT SKYHOLD

Cullen was sitting at his desk, holding his head and groaning his fate. He had gotten much too drunk the night before and he was sure he had done or said something stupid to warrant the bruises on his face and body. He was very certain someone had bashed a chair over him. His entire body went ridged and he groaned in pain when his door slammed open and three very angry women stormed into his office.

“Cullen Rutherford I have never been so ashamed to call you brother in arms than I am right now!” Cassandra screamed slamming both of her hands on his desk.

“Please whatever I’ve done just kill me.” Cullen groaned in pain, holding his head.

“You don’t even remember what you said to the poor inquisitor last night?” Josephine said shocked. Cullen tried to blink the black spots away.

“You called her a savage ox woman.” Leliana said calmly when Cullen continued staring at them. Cullen groaned even louder, laying his head in his arms.

“Explains why it feels like someone broke a chair over me…” Cullen mumbled “And this head ache is the maker punishing me…”

“You deserve far worse than that! You drove her off! The guards report she fled late into the night without a word or reason why!” Cassandra shouted.

“Maker strike me down…” Cullen said finally lifting his head “I will send out a party for her and I will personally apologize for my rude words.”

“What do you think apologizing is…?” Josephine was cut off when a scout ran in.

“Report from the wall ma’am! The Inquisitor is in bound on war nug Kirara and she seems to have Varric and Cole with her.” The scout said with a salute.

“Thank the maker!” Cassandra said following the scout out. Josephine quickly followed her out leaving Leliana and Cullen alone.

“So how much trouble am I in?” Cullen mumbled.

“If what I think happened actually happened then I would say you are off the hook.” Leliana said heading out of the door and leaving a confused Cullen behind.

“How surprised do you think they are going to be?” Adaar asked.

“I think Dorian and Josephine are going to have a fit that you wore a sheet and rope to your wedding.” Varric said resting his hands on her hips.

“Well it will be so much easier to get off when we finally get up to our bedroom.” Adaar said with a saucy smirk. Varric went ridged and held her hips tighter in excitement.  
When they walked through the gates half the inquisition surrounded them, all asking them questions at once. Adaar slid off gracefully and helped Varric down.

“Where have you been?” Cassandra yelled.

“And what in the world are you wearing?” Josephine asked. Adaar opened her mouth to answer but was interrupted by Cullen pushing his way through

“Inquisitor I just wanted to… Maker you look beautiful…” Cullen said looking her up and down.

“Ok everyone you all have about 5 seconds to make a path to the strong hold before this angry dwarf starts putting arrows in knees.” Varric said, cocking Bianca.

“Race you.” Adaar said to Varric running off at full speed through the quickly made path. Varric ran after her faster than anyone had ever seen. Hawke tried to stop him.

“Varric what the hell happened last night?” she asked ask Varric ran past her.

“Got drunk, ran away, got married, got to go horny Qunari waiting for me” Varric said quickly. The door to the inquisitor’s rooms slammed so hard Hawke expected to see a crack.

“Wait did he just say they got married? In those outfits?” Josephine screamed looking ready to have a fit.

“I’m going back to bed.” Cullen said with slumped shoulders, slinking away.

“What next? Iron Bull and Dorian?” Cassandra said in disbelief. Dorian chose that moment to walk out of the tavern, holding his ripped clothing to himself. They all stared at him in disbelief.

“What did I miss?” Dorian asked innocently.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first part of my series!


End file.
